The scene I wrote for Conkers this week was supposed to be a political debate about the sudden appearance of “adventurers” in a previously more sedate society. I enjoyed using different styles of language to differentiate the speakers, but I’m not happy with the way their scene fits into the plot.
On the one hand, it seems like too many words and no action; on the other, I feel as though it doesn’t build up nearly enough to end as dramatically as I want.
There are things that might fix this: I could break up the dialogue with actions of the speakers and the crowd, and I could focus more on the events leading up to it. But all that assumes the characters have a reason to care about it, which they don’t.
So I suppose the real problem is a lack of context. If events built up to this scene over time, and the characters started running into the problems and the arguments about fixing them, the debate could count for something.